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Frank Zappa - Once Upon A Time

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Music Video

The following Youtube video has been added by our user community for this Frank Zappa song:
Frank Zappa "Once Upon A Time" Music Video

Song Lyrics

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)

Mark Volman (vocals)

Howard Kaylan (vocals)

Jim Pons (bass, vocals)

Don Preston (keyboards, electronics)

Ian Underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone)

Aynsley Dunbar (drums)

Once upon a time

Way back a long time ago,

When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than

Mark Bolman

Oh, thank you Frank

And don`t misspell it,

That`s not Marc Bolan

that`s Mark Volman

Hiya friends

I wanna welcome each and everyone of you

I wanna say to you tonight

I feel great

I mean, I feel great

everywhere I go people are always comin` up to me

and they say Mark, Mark, Mark

Mark are you kiddin`

Lemme tell you this friends:

I am not kiddin`

I mean, I am portly and I am maroon

well, how many people here tonight can guess what I am?

Aaaah

I can`t guess what you are

Well, then I`ll give you some clues

And the first clue is

I am portly

Does that help?

Not much

No, I don`t know who you are

Okay, I got one

Clue number two:

I am double knit

Does that help?

No, not much

Whaddya mean?

Well, then I`ve to give you one more clue

I know this is gonna give it away

And I hate like damn to tell you this

But clue number three:

Ich bin Maroon!

Ahhhhhhhh you`re a sofa!

Once upon a time

Way back a long time ago,

When the universe consisted of nothing more elaborate than

Mark Volman ...

Thank you, Frank

... trying to convince each and every member

of this extremely hip audience here tonight,

that he was nothing more, nothing less

than a fat maroon sofa,

Suspended in the midst of a great emptiness

a light shined down from heaven (* twinkling sounds *)

And there he was ladies and gentleman, the good lord

And he took, he took a look at the sofa,

And he said to himself

"Quite an attractive sofa"

"This sofa could be commercial"

With a few more Margaritas and the right company

However, I digress

"What this sofa needs" said the Big `G`

"Is a bit of flooring underneath of it"

and so in order to make this construction project possible,

he summoned the assistance of the celestial corp of engineers,

and, by means of a cute little song in the German language

(which is the way he talks whenever it`s heavy business)

the Good Lord went something like this:

(take it away Jim Pons!)

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa

and of course ladies and gentlemen that means:

"give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa"

and sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness

as far as vision permits,

stretching all the way from Belfast to Bogner Regis

and the Lord put aside his huge cigar

and proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa

the bulk of his message

with the assistance of a small electric clarinet

and it went something like this...

take it away Jim Pons!

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa

Everybody!

Gib zu mir etwas Fussbodenbelag

unter diesen fetten fliessenden Sofa

And of course ladies and gentlemen, that means:

Give unto me a bit of flooring under this fat floating sofa

And sure enough boards of oak appeared throughout the emptiness as far as vision permits, Stretching all the way from Belfast to Bagner Regious And The Lord put aside his huge cigar And proceeded to deliver unto the charming maroonish sofa the bulk of his message With the assistance of a small electric clarinet And He went something like... this:

Release History

The Frank Zappa song "Once Upon A Time" appears on the following albums:
Frank Zappa Unsorted
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Frank Zappa Unsorted

  1. 50
  2. Advance Romance (In Album You Can't Do That On Sta
  3. Advance Romance (In Album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Vol 3 )
  4. Baked-bean Boogie (Instrumental)
  5. Black Napkins (Instrumental)
  6. Building A Girl (1:00)
  7. Carol, You Fool (4:11)
  8. Carolina
  9. Chana In De Bushwop (4:10)
  10. Charles Ives (Instrumentals)
  11. Cocaine Decisions (In Album You Can't Do That On S
  12. Direct-from-hollywood Overture
  13. Diseases Of The Band (2:22)
  14. Drowning Witch (In Album You Can't Do That On Stag
  15. Entrance Of The Central Scrutinizer
  16. Every Time I See You (2:37)
  17. F.z / Jcb Drum Duet (Instrumental)
  18. Frank Zappa
  19. Hot Rats
  20. Introduction
  21. Jawaka
  22. Learning "Penis Dimension" (2:02)
  23. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (In Album You Can't
  24. Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up (In Album You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore
  25. Make A Jazz Noise Here
  26. Memories Of El Monte (2:44)
  27. Moggio (Instrumental)
  28. Montana (Whipping Floss) (10:15)
  29. Nig Biz (5:50)
  30. Once Upon A Time (0:60)
  31. Return Of The Hunch-back Duke (Instrumental)
  32. Ride My Face To Chicago (3:18)
  33. Room Service (6:22)
  34. Run Home Slow: Main Title Theme (Instrumental)
  35. Ruthie-ruthie (2:21)
  36. Satumaa
  37. Satumaa (Finnish Tango) (3:51)
  38. Scene Eight Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up
  39. Scene Five The Wet T Shirt Contest
  40. Scene Four: Crew Slut
  41. Scene Seven: Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
  42. Scene Six: Toad-o Line
  43. Scene Three Catholic Girls
  44. Scene Two Joe's Garage
  45. Sweet Leilani (2:39)
  46. T**ties & Beer
  47. The Florida Airport Tape (1:04)
  48. The Groupie Routine (5:41)
  49. The Little March (Instrumental)
  50. The World's Greatest Sinner (2:27)
  51. Titties C120n' Beer
  52. Toad O Line (4:18)
  53. Tush Tush Tush (3:30)
  54. Tush Tush Tush (A Token Of My Extreme) (2:48)
  55. Ycdtosa6
  56. You Call That Music? (Instrumental)
  57. You Didn't Try To Call Me (In Album Cruising With

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