George Carlin » Songs


Full list of George Carlin songs, sorted alphabetically by name. You can also sort the list of songs by year recorded (from oldest to newest, and from most recent to first recorded), by Song Rank (popularity rank of song versus all other songs) and by album name. [To sort the list - you need to change the Display from "List" to "Table"]

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  1. 15 Rules to Live By
  2. 20th Century Hostilities
  3. 40 Years in Comedy
  4. 400,000 American Musical Favorites
  5. A Couple Of Other Questions
  6. A Few More Farts
  7. A Few More Oxymorons
  8. A Modern Man
  9. A Moment Of Silence
  10. A Name by Any Other Name
  11. A Place for My Stuff
  12. A Place for Your Stuff
  13. A Proposition
  14. Abortion
  15. Acknowledgments
  16. Action 6 News
  17. Activists
  18. Advertising Lullaby
  19. Advertising Lullabye
  20. Advice
  21. Air Pollution & Seven Things I'm Tired Of
  22. Airline Announcements
  23. Airline Flight Attendants
  24. Airlines
  25. Airport Security
  26. Al Gore's Actions
  27. American Bullshit
  28. An Incomplete List Of Impolite Words
  29. Angels
  30. Another Objection on Language
  31. Another Problem for Women...
  32. Answering Machines
  33. Anything but the Present
  34. Appropriate Names
  35. Asshole, Jackoff, Scumbag
  36. Asylums
  37. Autoerotic Asphyxia
  38. Avant Garde Play
  39. Baby Slings
  40. Baseball And Football
  41. Baseball - Football
  42. Battered Plants
  43. Be Well
  44. Beliefs
  45. Birth Control
  46. Birthday Party
  47. Black Consciousness
  48. Blind Girls
  49. Blue Food
  50. Bodily Functions
  51. Body Curiosity
  52. Breakfast Wine And Who's Boss
  53. Britain's Return of Hong Kong
  54. Bullshit
  55. Bumper Sticker
  56. Burns & Carlin
  57. Business 10 Steps
  58. Businessmen
  59. Camcorder
  60. Canadians
  61. Capital Punishment
  62. Capt. Jack & Jolly George
  63. Captain Jack & Jolly George
  64. Cars And Driving
  65. Casual on a Cell Phone
  66. Cats & Dogs
  67. Channel 7 Editorial
  68. Childhood Cliches
  69. Children
  70. Children Are Our Future
  71. Cigars
  72. Class Clown
  73. Clerks, Hankies and Emma
  74. Closing
  75. Coast-To-Coast Emergency
  76. Colon Powell
  77. Comedy and Pain
  78. Comedy's Evolution
  79. Comitting the Perfect Double Murder
  80. Commercials
  81. Confession
  82. Cookies
  83. Countryside Battles
  84. Cute Little Farts
  85. Daytime Television
  86. Dead Parents Helping
  87. Dear Friend
  88. Death
  89. Death And Dying
  90. Death Penalty
  91. Deaths of Supercelebrities
  92. Debbie's Checkup
  93. Deceased
  94. Declare War
  95. Divorce Game
  96. Do, Take, Have, Give
  97. Dogs & Forever
  98. Dogs Come in All Sizes
  99. Dogs Don't Care
  100. Dogs on TV
  101. Domestic Terrorism
  102. Don't Pull The Plug On Me
  103. Don't Say to a Comedian
  104. Drinking and Driving
  105. Driving
  106. Drugs
  107. Dumb Americans
  108. Early Boarding
  109. Early Influences
  110. Earrings
  111. Ed Sullivan Self Taught
  112. Elmo's Song / Johnny Badcheck
  113. Entertaining a Four Year Old
  114. Entropy & Disorder
  115. Euphemisms
  116. Euphemisms 2
  117. Euphemistic Language
  118. Every Child Is Special
  119. Expressions
  120. Extreme Human Behavior
  121. Eye Blaster
  122. Falling Asleep
  123. Familiar Expressions
  124. Family Newsletters
  125. Farting In Public
  126. Favorite Period of Time
  127. Fear Of Germs
  128. Feminist Blowjob
  129. Fifth Announcements
  130. Filthy Words
  131. Fire Dept. Tip
  132. First Announcements
  133. First Leftfielders
  134. First Time Funny
  135. First Time Human Sacrifice
  136. Five Twos
  137. Flesh Colored Band-Aids
  138. Flying
  139. Food Terms
  140. Football Cheers
  141. For Name's Sake
  142. Forward / Rice Krispies
  143. Fourth Announcements
  144. Fourth Leftfielders
  145. Free Breast Examinations
  146. Free-Floating Hostility: Quote Marks in the Air / Badda-Boom, Badda-Bing / Bad Hair Day / I Heard That / My Needs Aren't Being Met / Mickey Mouse's Birthday / The Two Pandas in the Zoo / Sperm/Egg Donors, Etc. / Innocent Victims / Personal Bottle
  147. Free Speech
  148. Fuck You, I Like These Kinds of Jokes
  149. Fun You Can Have
  150. Funeral Sayings
  151. Fussy Eater
  152. Gay Lib
  153. George Carlin - 40 Years in Comedy
  154. George Carlin Book Club
  155. George's Disc Jockey Theme and Show Opening
  156. Give a Hoot
  157. God
  158. God Bless America
  159. Goin' Through My Address Book
  160. Golf Courses For The Homeless
  161. Good Bye
  162. Good Ideas
  163. Good Sports
  164. Goofy Shit
  165. Graceful Death
  166. Grandchildren
  167. Grass Swept The Neighborhood
  168. Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
  169. Groups And Charities
  170. Guacamole
  171. Gun Enthusiasts
  172. Guys & Dolls, Part 1: Ladies First
  173. Guys Named Todd
  174. Handicaps / I'm Tired
  175. Hands-Free Telephone Headsets
  176. Harley Davidson
  177. Have A Nice Day
  178. Head Blew Up
  179. Headlines
  180. Heavy Mysteries
  181. Hello-Goodbye
  182. Henry the VIII
  183. Herb Coolhouse
  184. Heroes Who Died for Their Country
  185. He's Smiling Down
  186. Hi Mom!
  187. High On The Plane
  188. Hitchhiking (long version)
  189. Hitchhiking (short version)
  190. Hobos
  191. House Of Blues
  192. How to Handle a Heckler
  193. How's Everybody Doin'?
  194. How's Your Dog?
  195. I Ain't Afraid Of Cancer
  196. I Can't Recall
  197. I Like People
  198. I Love My Dog
  199. I'm Musical
  200. I Used To Be Irish Catholic
  201. Ice Box Man
  202. Icebox Man
  203. In A Coma
  204. Instructions
  205. Interview With Jesus
  206. Intro
  207. Introduction
  208. Irish Guys
  209. It's Your Body-Fearless Fashions
  210. Jesus Christ
  211. Join The Book Club
  212. Just Before You Die
  213. Just Enough Bullshit
  214. Just For Fun
  215. Keeping People Alert
  216. Kids And Parents
  217. Kids and Parents: Children Are Overrated / They're Not All Cute / They're Not All Smart / Too Much Safety / Guns in School / School Uniforms / Kids Who Smoke / Anal Parents
  218. Kids Are Too Small
  219. Killer Carlin
  220. Landmines
  221. Language of Comedy/Goodbye
  222. Last Meal
  223. Latest Disaster
  224. Left Wing Non-Sense
  225. Legal Advice
  226. Lenny Bruce
  227. Let's Beat Them With Our Purses!
  228. Let's Make A Deal
  229. Letter to a Friend
  230. Life's Little Moments
  231. Little Moments
  232. Little Things We Share
  233. Locations
  234. Losing Things
  235. Losing Your Place
  236. Lost & Found
  237. Love And Regards
  238. Man Stuff
  239. Man Stuff: Slugfest / Cut-Off Sleeves / Barbed Wire Tattoo / Lead, Follow or Get Outta the Way / Police Sensitivity Training
  240. Meaning of Life
  241. Mental Brain Thoughts
  242. Mental Hot Foots
  243. Minority Language
  244. Minority Language: Happens to Be / Openly / Urban / Girlfriend
  245. Missing
  246. Modern Man
  247. Monopoly
  248. More Euphemisms
  249. More Random Thoughts (Peacekeeping Force)
  250. More Redundant Expressions
  251. More Shorties
  252. More Stuff On Cars & Driving
  253. Mort Sahl
  254. Mother's Club
  255. Moths
  256. Motivation Seminars
  257. Mr. Policeman
  258. Muhammad Ali: America The Beautiful
  259. Music On Answering Machines
  260. My Childhood
  261. "My Daddy"
  262. My Dog
  263. Names
  264. NASA-Holes
  265. New Hostility Scoreboard
  266. New News
  267. New Sports
  268. New York Voices
  269. News Descriptions
  270. News Report Death of Humpty Dumpty
  271. Nice Days
  272. No Brown in the Rainbow
  273. No Complaining About Politicians
  274. No More Old People
  275. No One Questions Things
  276. Nursery Rhymes
  277. Nuts in Cake & Toenail Clippings
  278. Observations
  279. Occupation: Foole
  280. Offensive Language
  281. Old Fashioned
  282. Old Fuck
  283. Old Fucks
  284. Old Time Radio Favorites
  285. On The Road
  286. One More Thing You Don't Need
  287. Opening
  288. Opening Squence
  289. Opposed to Singing
  290. Orchestra
  291. Organ Donor Programs
  292. Organ Donors
  293. Pandas
  294. Parents' Cliches And Childrens Secret Answers
  295. Parents In Hell
  296. Parents Of Honor Students
  297. Peace on You
  298. Peas
  299. People I Can Do Without
  300. People Refuse To Be Realistic
  301. People Who Misuse Credit Cards
  302. People Who Oughta Be Killed: Self-Help Books
  303. People Who Want to Know the Time
  304. People Who Wear Visors
  305. People Who Worship Their Children
  306. Person To Person
  307. Physical Carlin
  308. Point of View
  309. Polically Incorrect
  310. Politically Speaking
  311. Politics
  312. Poor People
  313. Popular Beliefs Rooted in Familiar Expressions
  314. Posthumous Female Transplants
  315. Preface
  316. Prerequisites
  317. Problems and Issues
  318. Proud To Be An American
  319. Public Affairs
  320. Pyramid Of The Hopeless
  321. Quicksand
  322. Quotes and Stuff
  323. Radio Dial
  324. Radio/TV Interviews
  325. Rain. Dances. 007
  326. Raisin' A Child Is Not Difficult
  327. Raisin Rhetoric
  328. Random Thoughts (Recreational Drugs)
  329. Rants
  330. Rape Can Be Funny
  331. Reagan's Gang, Church People, And American Values
  332. Reality Shows
  333. Regional Differences
  334. Reincarnation (Souls)
  335. Religion
  336. Religious Lift
  337. Religious People
  338. Reporting a Bombing
  339. Respect
  340. Restaurants
  341. Retail
  342. Retired People
  343. Rice Krispies
  344. Rich Guys In Hot Air Balloons
  345. Rip-Offs
  346. Road Rage
  347. Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf
  348. Rules, Rules, Rules!
  349. Sacking a City
  350. Safety Tips
  351. Sanctity Of Life
  352. Sandwich
  353. Saying 'Hello'
  354. Scab
  355. Schmucks
  356. Second Announcements
  357. Second Leftfielders
  358. Secretary of Being in the Closet
  359. Secular Beliefs
  360. Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television
  361. Seventh Announcements
  362. Sex & Violence
  363. Sex Facts From Thailand
  364. Sex In Commercials
  365. Shitty Music
  366. Shoot
  367. Short Exchanges
  368. Short Jokes
  369. Silence
  370. Singers With One Name
  371. Sixth Announcements
  372. Snapper Lawn Mowers
  373. Snot, The Original Rubber Cement
  374. Social Situations
  375. Some People Are Stupid
  376. Some Werds
  377. Son Of Wino
  378. Special Dispensation: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory And Limbo
  379. Sports
  380. Sports Is Big Business
  381. Sports Roundup
  382. Standing Alone
  383. State Prison Farms
  384. Store Clerks
  385. Structuring the Act
  386. Stupid Bullshit
  387. Stupid Bullshit On The Phone
  388. Supermarket
  389. Supermarkets
  390. Superstitions
  391. Swearing On The Bible
  392. Takin' Off Yer Hat
  393. Tattoos
  394. Teenage Masturbation
  395. Telephone Mimes
  396. Television Announcers
  397. Tell Claus I Said, 'Hello'
  398. Telling Time
  399. Terrorism
  400. That's a Fine Howdoyado
  401. The 11 O'Clock News
  402. The All-Suicide TV Channel
  403. The Big Change
  404. The Business of Comedy
  405. The Coney Island Recordings
  406. The Confessional
  407. The Cool World
  408. The Evening News
  409. The George Carlin Book Club Offer No.1-How to Titles
  410. The Hair Piece
  411. The Hallway Groups
  412. The Indian Sergeant
  413. The Laughter Reflex
  414. The Male Disease
  415. The Metric System
  416. The New Zodiac
  417. The Newscast
  418. The Opening
  419. The Original "Person To Person"
  420. The Planet Is Fine
  421. The Prayer
  422. The 'Pre' Epidemic
  423. The Red Sox (Socks)
  424. The Self-Esteem Movement
  425. The Sickest
  426. The Suicide Guy
  427. The Ten Commandments
  428. The Vegas Incident
  429. The Writer
  430. Their Kids!
  431. There Is No God
  432. They're Only Words
  433. They Want To Show You The Pictures
  434. Things I Do Not Understand About Our Country
  435. Things To Watch Out For
  436. Things We Say When People Die
  437. Things You Don't Wanna Hear
  438. Things You Never Hear
  439. Things You Never See
  440. Third Announcements
  441. Third Leftfielders
  442. Thoughts
  443. Thoughts & Facts
  444. Three Free Jokes
  445. Three Little Words
  446. Timing & Delivery
  447. 'Tippy'
  448. Today's Professional Parents
  449. Toledo Window Box
  450. Traffic
  451. Traffic Accidents–Keep Movin'!
  452. Trying Stuff Out
  453. Tumor Humor
  454. TV Crap
  455. TV Tonight
  456. TV Tonight: Playboy Channel / Jerry Springer / Little House on the Prairie / Willie Nelson
  457. Ugly Singers
  458. Ugly Women
  459. Unrelated Things
  460. Urinals Are 50 Percent Universal
  461. Usage
  462. Values (How Much Is That Dog Crap in The Window?)
  463. Vitamins
  464. War
  465. War Pictures
  466. Warm and Cold
  467. Wasted Time
  468. Wasted Time: Sharing A Swallow
  469. Watch Your Mouth
  470. Water Sez
  471. We Control Your Lives
  472. Welcome To My Job
  473. Well, Ya Gotta Live Someplace
  474. What A Phone Call Should Be
  475. What's My Motivation
  476. When I Was Young
  477. White Guys Who Shave Their Heads
  478. White Harlem
  479. Who's the Boss
  480. Why We Don't Need 10 Commandments
  481. Wishing Wells
  482. Wonderful WINO (Top 40 Disc Jockey)
  483. Words
  484. Words We Leave Behind
  485. Writing Techniques
  486. Wurds
  487. Y'ever
  488. Yeast Infection
  489. You & Me (Things That Come Off of Your Body)
  490. You Have No Rights
  491. You're Lost
  492. Zero Tolerance
  493. Zones

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