George Carlin » Songs

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George Carlin Songs

Full list of George Carlin songs, sorted alphabetically by name. You can also sort the list of songs by year recorded (from oldest to newest, and from most recent to first recorded), by Song Rank (popularity rank of song versus all other songs) and by album name. [To sort the list - you need to change the Display from "List" to "Table"]
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  1. 15 Rules to Live By
  2. 20th Century Hostilities
  3. 40 Years in Comedy
  4. 400,000 American Musical Favorites
  5. A Couple Of Other Questions
  6. A Few More Farts
  7. A Few More Oxymorons
  8. A Modern Man
  9. A Moment Of Silence
  10. A Name by Any Other Name
  11. A Place for My Stuff
  12. A Place for Your Stuff
  13. A Proposition
  14. Abortion
  15. Acknowledgments
  16. Action 6 News
  17. Activists
  18. Advertising Lullaby
  19. Advertising Lullabye
  20. Advice
  21. Air Pollution & Seven Things I'm Tired Of
  22. Airline Announcements
  23. Airline Flight Attendants
  24. Airlines
  25. Airport Security
  26. Al Gore's Actions
  27. American Bullshit
  28. An Incomplete List Of Impolite Words
  29. Angels
  30. Another Objection on Language
  31. Another Problem for Women...
  32. Answering Machines
  33. Anything but the Present
  34. Appropriate Names
  35. Asshole, Jackoff, Scumbag
  36. Asylums
  37. Autoerotic Asphyxia
  38. Avant Garde Play
  39. Baby Slings
  40. Baseball And Football
  41. Baseball - Football
  42. Battered Plants
  43. Be Well
  44. Beliefs
  45. Birth Control
  46. Birthday Party
  47. Black Consciousness
  48. Blind Girls
  49. Blue Food
  50. Bodily Functions
  51. Body Curiosity
  52. Breakfast Wine And Who's Boss
  53. Britain's Return of Hong Kong
  54. Bullshit
  55. Bumper Sticker
  56. Burns & Carlin
  57. Business 10 Steps
  58. Businessmen
  59. Camcorder
  60. Canadians
  61. Capital Punishment
  62. Capt. Jack & Jolly George
  63. Captain Jack & Jolly George
  64. Cars And Driving
  65. Casual on a Cell Phone
  66. Cats & Dogs
  67. Channel 7 Editorial
  68. Childhood Cliches
  69. Children
  70. Children Are Our Future
  71. Cigars
  72. Class Clown
  73. Clerks, Hankies and Emma
  74. Closing
  75. Coast-To-Coast Emergency
  76. Colon Powell
  77. Comedy and Pain
  78. Comedy's Evolution
  79. Comitting the Perfect Double Murder
  80. Commercials
  81. Confession
  82. Cookies
  83. Countryside Battles
  84. Cute Little Farts
  85. Daytime Television
  86. Dead Parents Helping
  87. Dear Friend
  88. Death
  89. Death And Dying
  90. Death Penalty
  91. Deaths of Supercelebrities
  92. Debbie's Checkup
  93. Deceased
  94. Declare War
  95. Divorce Game
  96. Do, Take, Have, Give
  97. Dogs & Forever
  98. Dogs Come in All Sizes
  99. Dogs Don't Care
  100. Dogs on TV
  101. Domestic Terrorism
  102. Don't Pull The Plug On Me
  103. Don't Say to a Comedian
  104. Drinking and Driving
  105. Driving
  106. Drugs
  107. Dumb Americans
  108. Early Boarding
  109. Early Influences
  110. Earrings
  111. Ed Sullivan Self Taught
  112. Elmo's Song / Johnny Badcheck
  113. Entertaining a Four Year Old
  114. Entropy & Disorder
  115. Euphemisms
  116. Euphemisms 2
  117. Euphemistic Language
  118. Every Child Is Special
  119. Expressions
  120. Extreme Human Behavior
  121. Eye Blaster
  122. Falling Asleep
  123. Familiar Expressions
  124. Family Newsletters
  125. Farting In Public
  126. Favorite Period of Time
  127. Fear Of Germs
  128. Feminist Blowjob
  129. Fifth Announcements
  130. Filthy Words
  131. Fire Dept. Tip
  132. First Announcements
  133. First Leftfielders
  134. First Time Funny
  135. First Time Human Sacrifice
  136. Five Twos
  137. Flesh Colored Band-Aids
  138. Flying
  139. Food Terms
  140. Football Cheers
  141. For Name's Sake
  142. Forward / Rice Krispies
  143. Fourth Announcements
  144. Fourth Leftfielders
  145. Free Breast Examinations
  146. Free-Floating Hostility: Quote Marks in the Air / Badda-Boom, Badda-Bing / Bad Hair Day / I Heard That / My Needs Aren't Being Met / Mickey Mouse's Birthday / The Two Pandas in the Zoo / Sperm/Egg Donors, Etc. / Innocent Victims / Personal Bottle
  147. Free Speech
  148. Fuck You, I Like These Kinds of Jokes
  149. Fun You Can Have
  150. Funeral Sayings
  151. Fussy Eater
  152. Gay Lib
  153. George Carlin - 40 Years in Comedy
  154. George Carlin Book Club
  155. George's Disc Jockey Theme and Show Opening
  156. Give a Hoot
  157. God
  158. God Bless America
  159. Goin' Through My Address Book
  160. Golf Courses For The Homeless
  161. Good Bye
  162. Good Ideas
  163. Good Sports
  164. Goofy Shit
  165. Graceful Death
  166. Grandchildren
  167. Grass Swept The Neighborhood
  168. Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread
  169. Groups And Charities
  170. Guacamole
  171. Gun Enthusiasts
  172. Guys & Dolls, Part 1: Ladies First
  173. Guys Named Todd
  174. Handicaps / I'm Tired
  175. Hands-Free Telephone Headsets
  176. Harley Davidson
  177. Have A Nice Day
  178. Head Blew Up
  179. Headlines
  180. Heavy Mysteries
  181. Hello-Goodbye
  182. Henry the VIII
  183. Herb Coolhouse
  184. Heroes Who Died for Their Country
  185. He's Smiling Down
  186. Hi Mom!
  187. High On The Plane
  188. Hitchhiking (long version)
  189. Hitchhiking (short version)
  190. Hobos
  191. House Of Blues
  192. How to Handle a Heckler
  193. How's Everybody Doin'?
  194. How's Your Dog?
  195. I Ain't Afraid Of Cancer
  196. I Can't Recall
  197. I Like People
  198. I Love My Dog
  199. I'm Musical
  200. I Used To Be Irish Catholic
  201. Ice Box Man
  202. Icebox Man
  203. In A Coma
  204. Instructions
  205. Interview With Jesus
  206. Intro
  207. Introduction
  208. Irish Guys
  209. It's Your Body-Fearless Fashions
  210. Jesus Christ
  211. Join The Book Club
  212. Just Before You Die
  213. Just Enough Bullshit
  214. Just For Fun
  215. Keeping People Alert
  216. Kids And Parents
  217. Kids and Parents: Children Are Overrated / They're Not All Cute / They're Not All Smart / Too Much Safety / Guns in School / School Uniforms / Kids Who Smoke / Anal Parents
  218. Kids Are Too Small
  219. Killer Carlin
  220. Landmines
  221. Language of Comedy/Goodbye
  222. Last Meal
  223. Latest Disaster
  224. Left Wing Non-Sense
  225. Legal Advice
  226. Lenny Bruce
  227. Let's Beat Them With Our Purses!
  228. Let's Make A Deal
  229. Letter to a Friend
  230. Life's Little Moments
  231. List of People Who Ought to Be Killed
  232. Little Moments
  233. Little Things We Share
  234. Locations
  235. Losing Things
  236. Losing Your Place
  237. Lost & Found
  238. Love And Regards
  239. Man Stuff
  240. Man Stuff: Slugfest / Cut-Off Sleeves / Barbed Wire Tattoo / Lead, Follow or Get Outta the Way / Police Sensitivity Training
  241. Meaning of Life
  242. Mental Brain Thoughts
  243. Mental Hot Foots
  244. Minority Language
  245. Minority Language: Happens to Be / Openly / Urban / Girlfriend
  246. Missing
  247. Modern Man
  248. Monopoly
  249. More Euphemisms
  250. More Random Thoughts (Peacekeeping Force)
  251. More Redundant Expressions
  252. More Shorties
  253. More Stuff On Cars & Driving
  254. Mort Sahl
  255. Mother's Club
  256. Moths
  257. Motivation Seminars
  258. Mr. Policeman
  259. Muhammad Ali: America The Beautiful
  260. Music On Answering Machines
  261. My Childhood
  262. "My Daddy"
  263. My Dog
  264. Names
  265. NASA-Holes
  266. New Hostility Scoreboard
  267. New News
  268. New Sports
  269. New York Voices
  270. News Descriptions
  271. News Report Death of Humpty Dumpty
  272. Nice Days
  273. No Brown in the Rainbow
  274. No Complaining About Politicians
  275. No More Old People
  276. No One Questions Things
  277. Nursery Rhymes
  278. Nuts in Cake & Toenail Clippings
  279. Observations
  280. Occupation: Foole
  281. Offensive Language
  282. Old Fashioned
  283. Old Fuck
  284. Old Fucks
  285. Old Time Radio Favorites
  286. On The Road
  287. One More Thing You Don't Need
  288. Opening
  289. Opening Squence
  290. Opposed to Singing
  291. Orchestra
  292. Organ Donor Programs
  293. Organ Donors
  294. Pandas
  295. Parents' Cliches And Childrens Secret Answers
  296. Parents In Hell
  297. Parents Of Honor Students
  298. Peace on You
  299. Peas
  300. People I Can Do Without
  301. People Refuse To Be Realistic
  302. People Who Misuse Credit Cards
  303. People Who Oughta Be Killed: Self-Help Books
  304. People Who Want to Know the Time
  305. People Who Wear Visors
  306. People Who Worship Their Children
  307. Person To Person
  308. Physical Carlin
  309. Point of View
  310. Polically Incorrect
  311. Politically Speaking
  312. Politics
  313. Poor People
  314. Popular Beliefs Rooted in Familiar Expressions
  315. Posthumous Female Transplants
  316. Preface
  317. Prerequisites
  318. Problems and Issues
  319. Proud To Be An American
  320. Public Affairs
  321. Pyramid Of The Hopeless
  322. Quicksand
  323. Quotes and Stuff
  324. Radio Dial
  325. Radio/TV Interviews
  326. Rain. Dances. 007
  327. Raisin' A Child Is Not Difficult
  328. Raisin Rhetoric
  329. Random Thoughts (Recreational Drugs)
  330. Rants
  331. Rape Can Be Funny
  332. Reagan's Gang, Church People, And American Values
  333. Reality Shows
  334. Regional Differences
  335. Reincarnation (Souls)
  336. Religion
  337. Religious Lift
  338. Religious People
  339. Reporting a Bombing
  340. Respect
  341. Restaurants
  342. Retail
  343. Retired People
  344. Rice Krispies
  345. Rich Guys In Hot Air Balloons
  346. Rip-Offs
  347. Road Rage
  348. Rockets And Penises In The Persian Gulf
  349. Rules, Rules, Rules!
  350. Sacking a City
  351. Safety Tips
  352. Sanctity Of Life
  353. Sandwich
  354. Saying 'Hello'
  355. Scab
  356. Schmucks
  357. Second Announcements
  358. Second Leftfielders
  359. Secretary of Being in the Closet
  360. Secular Beliefs
  361. Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television
  362. Seventh Announcements
  363. Sex & Violence
  364. Sex Facts From Thailand
  365. Sex In Commercials
  366. Shitty Music
  367. Shoot
  368. Short Exchanges
  369. Short Jokes
  370. Silence
  371. Singers With One Name
  372. Sixth Announcements
  373. Snapper Lawn Mowers
  374. Snot, The Original Rubber Cement
  375. Social Situations
  376. Some People Are Stupid
  377. Some Werds
  378. Son Of Wino
  379. Special Dispensation: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory And Limbo
  380. Sports
  381. Sports Is Big Business
  382. Sports Roundup
  383. Standing Alone
  384. State Prison Farms
  385. Store Clerks
  386. Structuring the Act
  387. Stupid Bullshit
  388. Stupid Bullshit On The Phone
  389. Supermarket
  390. Supermarkets
  391. Superstitions
  392. Swearing On The Bible
  393. Takin' Off Yer Hat
  394. Tattoos
  395. Teenage Masturbation
  396. Telephone Mimes
  397. Television Announcers
  398. Tell Claus I Said, 'Hello'
  399. Telling Time
  400. Terrorism
  401. That's a Fine Howdoyado
  402. The 11 O'Clock News
  403. The All-Suicide TV Channel
  404. The Big Change
  405. The Business of Comedy
  406. The Coney Island Recordings
  407. The Confessional
  408. The Cool World
  409. The Evening News
  410. The George Carlin Book Club Offer No.1-How to Titles
  411. The Hair Piece
  412. The Hallway Groups
  413. The Indian Sergeant
  414. The Laughter Reflex
  415. The Male Disease
  416. The Metric System
  417. The New Zodiac
  418. The Newscast
  419. The Opening
  420. The Original "Person To Person"
  421. The Planet Is Fine
  422. The Prayer
  423. The 'Pre' Epidemic
  424. The Red Sox (Socks)
  425. The Self-Esteem Movement
  426. The Sickest
  427. The Suicide Guy
  428. The Ten Commandments
  429. The Vegas Incident
  430. The Writer
  431. Their Kids!
  432. There Is No God
  433. They're Only Words
  434. They Want To Show You The Pictures
  435. Things I Do Not Understand About Our Country
  436. Things To Watch Out For
  437. Things We Say When People Die
  438. Things You Don't Wanna Hear
  439. Things You Never Hear
  440. Things You Never See
  441. Third Announcements
  442. Third Leftfielders
  443. Thoughts
  444. Thoughts & Facts
  445. Three Free Jokes
  446. Three Little Words
  447. Timing & Delivery
  448. 'Tippy'
  449. Today's Professional Parents
  450. Toledo Window Box
  451. Traffic
  452. Traffic Accidents–Keep Movin'!
  453. Trying Stuff Out
  454. Tumor Humor
  455. TV Crap
  456. TV Tonight
  457. TV Tonight: Playboy Channel / Jerry Springer / Little House on the Prairie / Willie Nelson
  458. Ugly Singers
  459. Ugly Women
  460. Unrelated Things
  461. Urinals Are 50 Percent Universal
  462. Usage
  463. Values (How Much Is That Dog Crap in The Window?)
  464. Vitamins
  465. War
  466. War Pictures
  467. Warm and Cold
  468. Wasted Time
  469. Wasted Time: Sharing A Swallow
  470. Watch Your Mouth
  471. Water Sez
  472. We Control Your Lives
  473. Welcome To My Job
  474. Well, Ya Gotta Live Someplace
  475. What A Phone Call Should Be
  476. What's My Motivation
  477. When I Was Young
  478. White Guys Who Shave Their Heads
  479. White Harlem
  480. Who's the Boss
  481. Why We Don't Need 10 Commandments
  482. Wishing Wells
  483. Wonderful WINO (Top 40 Disc Jockey)
  484. Words
  485. Words We Leave Behind
  486. Writing Techniques
  487. Wurds
  488. Y'ever
  489. Yeast Infection
  490. You & Me (Things That Come Off of Your Body)
  491. You Have No Rights
  492. You're Lost
  493. Zero Tolerance
  494. Zones

Songs Featured In


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